1- Animals in anime are voiced by humans.
What the fuck?, really it’s like they can’t put real moos in their productions, even the crows will fly by and insult the people. Well it’s not really something wrong, I just noticed it’s the norm. Also western cartoons are mostly talking animals so whatever, next one.
2- If you learned japanese by watching anime, you know shit
If you speak like your favorite character in anime you will look like a dork to any native japanese, anime is useless as a tool to learn the language, you will have to study properly.
3- Oh no Chunchunko-san, you said my first-name instead of my last-name, I’m gonna cum
Weird huh? most plots turn around the relationship being a hard road towards the MC calling the girl by her name. I can’t relate to that, imagine if you just call them by the first letter of their names, they would turn inside out by the pussy just to let you feel their insides with your whole body.
4-“Uwu, uguuu, kyuuu…” and many other sounds
You WILL notice at first that anime, in their original subbed audio, will be filled with cute little girl noises that are closer to a kitten than a human. And this will be nothing new for fat otakus like myself, but to the normie getting acquainted to this cultured art form, it’s gonna be like trying to brush their teeths with kerosene.
You will accept it or hate it, if there’s someone who loves those noises or even tries to replicate them, it’s because that person is severely annoying and you should stay awaaaay from him/her/it.
5- There’s always cute girls with big eyes, but that’s why you should hate anime, not embrace it
Seems like japanese artists had perfectioned the art of bringing the best out of femenine cutesie traits to their 2D girls, and that is working like a magnet to attract loners like flies to poop. Not gonna lie, I used to be infatuated by Sailor Mercury, such a hottie nerdy girl. But as I got older I realized this is getting out of hand.
Waifus, waifus everywhere, and sometimes you ask if anime could stand on its own just by the plot and the animation, I wonder what would happen if Sword Art Online was about the game and not about the waifu. Then you get shows that are ONLY about the girls just switching colors like it was some Gatcha.
Fuck this, really, best anime is always far away from that pattern, go watch One Piece of HunterXHunter, sure they have a couple girls but they look different enough.
6- Anime is satanic and evil and scary sometimes
I’m not saying this point is bad, it’s in fact one of the things that I love about anime, but you can’t deny that it is weird. There are plenty of modern examples of bloody anime but it is nothing compared to the evil that was 90’s anime. I love that stuff, it’s hardcore and just morbid, it was a time where regulations could not touch stuff coming from Japan.
Urotsokidoji, Genocyber, Mad Bull 34, Kite. Pure unaltered violence made animation, good times.
7- Anime is so good you will stay inside your home forever watching it, literally
Now we can’t make a case about staying at home like it’s a bad trait since we have a fresh pandemic making us stay inside. But before that was a thing we had NEETS and Hikikomoris (same thing), they won’t go out first because anime, games and manga are so much fun, then they won’t put a foot outside the door because anxiety is over 9000.
Have you heard of people being obsessed with My Little Pony to the point they won’t leave their room?
(Ok, they are obssessed with MLP, but the problem is they leave the house to share)
But anyway, creepy effects on some minds.
8- God is trying to contact us through the hands of japanese mangakas, and it’s going to kill you
The answer is here, you can see it in its eyes, big horse eyes gaping at the truth. You are simulated, our life is a game and you are not a player character, you can’t die, as you were never born, we are thoughts in the imagination of God and it tries to erase you from the mind.
You need to stay calm, lay in your bed, become accostumed to the silence, it’s done.
It’s all in the three, the number is repeated over and over, it’s the link to God as you need three parts to make it whole.
It’s all pointing at him, yet we are deluded by the female form, you have to take the fecundation out of the book so you can construct the map.
9- Anime openings are obligatory and awesome
That’s all, anime openings are a unique thing. You love them, I love them, long live to anime openings.